Best Birthday Ever. EVER.

Yesterday was my 21st Birthday. I've had high expectations for that day since I was, oh, I dunno, 16. I knew it would be good- I just didn't think it'd be THIS good.

I went to a local bar last night around 8:30. My brother was there, which was crazy exciting. Mariah went with me, and people started showing up one by one. Rob and Joan showed up together, followed by Chad, Dave, Kevin, Sean, the radio DJ and several other friends and a few regular customers from my job. I got cards and scratch tickets, and one of my regulars bought me a six pack. Mariah bought my first beer, and then other people started pitching in. One beer and one shot later, I realized that I hadn't eaten and needed to do so ASAP.

Chad bought me a pizza. When they brought it to us, Chad said that they didn't have candles, so he (along with Rob and Kevin) pulled out a lighter. The three of them flicked them on, held them over the pizza, and everyone proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday" to me. It sounded so beautiful, and it was such a fantastic gesture that I almost cried.

We got shitfaced, all of us. I sang karaoke with the radio DJ, did more shots than was necessary, dirty danced with Mariah, made out with about 5 different people, 2 of them being Mariah and Joan. We had an all around phenomenal time, and I couldn't have asked for anything better.

I got home, drunk, and found that I had two messages from Rob. "You, me, tonight?"

Well, absolutely.

In my drunken state, I panicked, thinking he would be asleep or something. I called him repeatedly for about 5 minutes before giving up. He called me back about 2 minutes later, saying, "I'm out front of your house. Get out here."

I was wearing nothing but a track jacket at the time. So I'm yelling at him on the phone, "I HAVE NO PANTS, I'M NOT WEARING PANTS!" I imagine to an outsider it would have been hilarious. Kevin came up behind me and threw me a pair of pajama pants, so I put them on and ran outside.

Rob needed cigarettes, so we began to drive to one of the local gas stations.

And this is the part where it gets...interesting. And incredible. Please note that I was EXTREMELY drunk, so not everything I say will be word for word, and I know I'm missing some key phrases. Just go with it.

On the way to the gas station, it somehow came up that we didn't like each other, that this was just about awesome sex. Rob got visibly upset about it and told me that it wasn't true.

"This is about more than sex. It always has been. We're friends, and if this was just sex, it would have been over a long time ago," he said.

I vehemently disagreed with him, and then the truth started coming out. "If this was just sex, I wouldn't go on drives around the state with you for hours."

We pulled into the parking lot of the gas station, and he told me that this has always been more. He asked me if when we lived together, I thought he stopped talking to me because he stopped liking me. I said yes.

"I thought you just suddenly decided I wasn't cool enough or good enough. I thought you hated me," I said.

"No. No. Do you want to know the real reason why I couldn't talk to you? It was because I started feeling things for you. And it scared me."

0_0

At this point, we're extremely drunk, and I'm on the edge of tears. I told him that he always meant so much to me, that there HAD to be a reason that we're so connected sexually.

"You don't judge me, ever. I can be myself around you. We can go for those long drives and not say anything the entire time. We don't HAVE to say anything, and it's not awkward. I love everything about you," he said. "I love the way you taste, I love the way you smell, I love the way you move. Every time we have sex, I just want to hold you."

"Are you just saying this because you're drunk?" I asked.

"No. I'm drunk, and it's making me more honest than I've been in a long time," he replied.

And then he pulled out the whopper. The one that made my jaw drop and my heart break. For those of you who are not familiar with the show Dawson's Creek, I need to explain something about it before I tell you what he said.

There's a love triangle in the show between Joey (the main female character), Pacey and Dawson (the two male love interests). The entire show hinges on who Joey will end up with. Rob, Joan and I all love this show.

He turned to me and said, in all seriousness, "Joan is Dawson. I'm Joey and you're Pacey. Joey and Pacey end up together in the end. You're my Pacey."

I know, I know, it's cheesefest, but we were drunk and...it made me cry a teeny tiny bit.

He grabbed me and we kissed so hard. We were using each other as a life source, like if we ever stopped kissing, one of us would surely die. "I want you to stay with me tonight," he said. I, of course, happily agreed.

I told him to go in and get his cigarettes, and to get me a water. So he did.

We went back to his house and sat in the car out front for a couple minutes. I realized that I was shaking, and I turned to him. At the same time, he said, "I'm trembling" while I said, "I'm shaking". We confessed that our hearts were beating so fast, and we were shaking, and that this was "terrifying and wonderful".

"I'm so scared," I told him. "I don't know what this is or what's happening, but I'm absolutely terrified."

"So am I," he said. "I haven't felt like this in so long, and it's scaring me. I'm scared to death right now."

We got out of the car and held hands, walking up the front lawn and into his house. When we got to his room, I put my hand on his chest, and I could feel his heartbeat. He wasn't lying- his heart was beating so fast, I thought it might explode. I told him I could feel it, and he asked me what it felt like. "It's going fast, so fast," I said.

"Just like yours," he said, smiling.

We sat down on the bed and he told me that he knew I felt something for him, that he'd known it for a while. I asked him how, and what he told me made my eyes get so big that I thought they'd pop out of my head.

"When we first met, you told me that you don't like kissing people when you have sex with them. It equates to an emotional attachment, so you avoid it. Well. You always kiss me."

He was right. I couldn't believe he remembered that- hell, I didn't even remember that I'd told him that.

"You know when I knew that I had feelings for you?" he asked me. "It was right after that 80's party in Maryland. We came home and had sex and...it just felt different after that."

He laid me down and we kissed. We kissed and kissed and touched each other, and he said, "I want to kiss every inch of your body."

We stripped each other down, and he did exactly that. And then he did something that he's never ever ever ever done to me before: he went down on me. It was so good, it took my breath away.

And then we made love. We really, truly made love. I pulled his head back and told him to look at me. We stared into each other for a full minute, only pulling our eyes away to throw our heads back in a moan. This is incredibly significant because we both refuse to look people in the eyes during sex, and we've both told each other so. It creates an emotional attachment, and we didn't want that.

It was electrifying.

When we finished (an HOUR later), I asked him if he was sure that he wanted me to stay with him overnight. Usually he takes me home immediately, and we never share a bed for sleeping purposes. He said, "Absolutely. I'm positive. I'm 2000% positive. Stay here with me."

We fell asleep in each other's arms, every once in a while brushing our fingertips across each other or kissing the other's shoulders.

I woke up this morning still a little bit drunk and very hung over. He got me a bottle of water, and I started to worry. I thought that surely he would regret what happened, that it was going to be awkward and terrible.

It wasn't. He laid back down beside me and brushed my hair from my face. He held my hand and kissed my forehead. Everytime he looked at me, my heart leapt. We sat up, and I rubbed his shoulders while he ran his fingers through our intertwined hands. We kissed and kissed, and next thing I know, I'm kissing his earlobe. "Are you trying to turn me on?" he asked.

I just nodded.

And then we made love again. It was beautiful and it felt so incredible. I haven't had sex mean something like this in...possibly EVER.

We got up, got dressed and went to lunch. We were silly together, like we used to be, and I can't even tell you how full my heart was the entire time. I thought I might fall over and die of happiness.

When he dropped me off at my house this afternoon, we changed our goodbye. Usually I just say, "See ya later" and get out of the car. But not this time. This time, we lingered. He pulled in to kiss me, and I kissed his cheek. He held my face in his hands for a moment and pulled me in so that our foreheads were touching. We closed our eyes and stayed that way for a moment before I pulled away and left.

He texted me about an hour ago, saying, "You wear me out." I giggled to myself, and replied, "You love it." His answer gave me goosebumps: "I really do."

I then told him that I really meant everything I said last night, and that I hoped it wouldn't change anything. I just needed him to know I meant it. He responded, saying, "I know. And, for the record, I meant what I said."

Swoon.


So there you have it. The best Birthday in the entire history of the world.

We'll see where this takes us. We still have to get around Joan, but I'm thinking this is going to open up a new chapter for us. Something different, something exciting.

Team Rob, motherfuckers. :D