"GET THE FUCK UP WE HAVE PANCAKES AND GET YOUR DICK OUT OF HER VAGINA!!!!!!"

Last night, I held an impromptu party at my house. And when I say "impromptu", I mean "I didn't even know who was coming until they got here".

It wasn't a large party at all. I'd been pre-gaming it with Amanda and her boyfriend (we'll say he's Billy) at another friends' house, and I left around 10. About 10 minutes after I got home, Dave and his friend (who we will call Ryan) showed up. Then my younger sister showed up. And then two other people (who we will call John, a nerdy looking guy with glasses and dark hair, and Kevin, a stunner with a heroin problem). And then Amanda and her boyfriend came back (although they were no fun- they passed out as soon as they walked in the door and missed the entire evening). So there were 6 of us, a case of beer, and a bottle of some sweet tea vodka thing. Not a big party, but my apartment is kind of small, so it worked out perfectly.

We played Yahtzee, made a McDonald's run, and wandered around bullshitting and drinking. Kevin turned on techno music at some point, and we all laid on the floor, completely shitfaced, touching ourselves and each other (NOT LIKE THAT!).

We made boneless buffalo wings, and some people made their way outside. I was waiting in line for the bathroom, and Brandon walked out. I pushed past him, and he stood at the sink. We talked for a second, and then we started making out. He shoved me against the wall, bent me over so far my hair was touching the floor, and basically raped my mouth. I've always wanted a spontaneous hot makeout session like that, and I got it. We didn't bang in the bathroom, but it was some heavy, heavy foreplay. Funny how you don't even need to be touched to get all hot and bothered.

Needless to say, I never did get to pee.

We calmed ourselves down and went outside to join everyone else. Some of them ran back in to grab some food, and it was just Dave, Ryan and me. Ryan and I connected pretty quickly. Something about him screamed, "I'm in pain, and I'm going to fake happiness so hard it hurts". I'm the Queen of faking it (ha), and we talked without really talking, if that makes sense. He'd start to say something, and I'd just look at him and say, "Liar". There was that intense connection of our eyes, where you don't have to say a word, you just...know.

Dave then decided it was too somber and made his way into our backyard, where he informed me that he wanted to climb our massive oak tree. I told him that I'd never climbed a tree before, so he took it upon himself to make me do it. At three in the morning. Drunk.

He talked me through most of it, and I was scared to death. It took me probably five minutes just to get to the first level of branches, and he shimmied his way above me in less than two. I panicked slightly, so he came down and helped me jump off.

We went back inside to find John passed out on the floor, and Kevin and Ryan quietly jamming to techno. Brandon sat on our oversized chair and invited me to join him. The music changed to one of my favorite songs; Filter' s "Take a Picture". We sat in silence for a minute, and when it got to my favorite part, he leaned over and kissed me. It was gently, but still passionate. I told him that I adored him (holy drunken cliche, Batman!), and he laughed and said he adored me as well. He then proceded to tell me that I was a rare kind of girl- I was cool with just hanging out, getting drunk, and having sex; that I'm a simple person, and that's incredibly unheard of. He even went so far as to pull the old "one in a million" line, which made me laugh and feel giddy- because I'm still a girl.

Everyone decided to pass out at that point, so I brought him back to my room with me. I changed into my oversize t-shirt for sleep, and as I went to turn out the lights, he said, Woah. You have really nice legs." As much as I hate compliments, I'm still sort of a sucker for them. Re-enter giggles and giddy feeling.

We had drunken sex, and it was fantastic. We kissed so hard it hurt, brushed each other's hair from our eyes and just stared at each other the entire time.

And then we passed the fuck out.




We woke up this morning to Billy and Ryan banging on my door, yelling, "GET THE FUCK UP WE HAVE THINGS TO DO AND STOP PUTTING YOUR DICK IN HER VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We laid there and giggled for a minute, yelling obscene things at the other from the bed. We realized that we were NOT going to be allowed to go back to sleep, so we got dressed and came out of my room. I walked into the kitchen to find that EVERYTHING was clean. The beer cans and shot glasses and trash were all gone. The dishes were done. The blankets everyone had used to sleep on were folded neatly and put on the couch. Everything was SPOTLESS, and Kevin stood in the living room and said, "I cleaned your house! I'm going to make pancakes now, are you guys hungry?"

My jaw straight DROPPED. I've NEVER had a houseguest do anything like that, and it was hilarious and amazing at the same time. I told him he didn't have to do any of that, but he just shrugged and said, "Hey, you gave me free beer. You let me crash at your house. You made me food. You made sure everyone had a good time. This is the least I could have done."

I know. What the fuck?

He made pancakes, and Billy ran around, apologizing to everyone for being so sloshed and passing out as soon as he got home. We all laughed and told him to shut up, it wasn't a big deal. He left for work, and Dave and I went to my bedroom to wait for pancakes. We curled up together in my bed, trying to take a nap- which, of course, the guys refused to let us do.

"GET THE FUCK UP THERE ARE PANCAKES AND YOU GUYS HAVE SEX TOO MUCH!!!!"

We screamed at them to bring us pancakes in bed, which they didn't do. :D

We ate our pancakes, had some coffee, and then everyone started to leave. Ryan gave me the best hug that I've had in a long time- one that understood without words. Dave hugged me, and Kevin did, too, and then they left.

I have to say...I didn't think I'd make it without Mike. I thought I'd fall apart forever. I thought I'd never be able to live my life without thinking of him every second. But I am quite happy to report that I didn't think of him once last night. I laughed hysterically, I made some new friends, I had fantastic sex with (what I hope) is going to become a frequent lover.

I felt alive.