"I love you from your toes to your face."

So.

We're in love. And we have admitted it to each other. It's for real now.

Rob has spent the night for most of this week. It got more and more real to me each day, and yesterday, I told him that I was gonna start running. I could feel myself doing it. At this point, he hadn't told me that he loved me. I told him that I wanted him so much, but I could never have him. I cried, I said I was sorry.I have never seen him look so upset in the two years that I've known him.

He drove me to work, and we held hands the whole way there. We sat outside for a couple minutes, where I cried some more. I tried to tell him that if he ever wanted me, to let me know, but he cut me off as soon as I said, "If you ever want me..." and said, "I do." I told him I loved him, that he was so beautiful, and asked if I should let him know if I ever could stop running. He just said, "Yes, please."

I went into work crying, and all my co-workers proceeded to yell at me. they said we were so good together, that I was making a mistake. They told me that it was worth the risk, and it wasn't fair for me to have done that.

Mariah ended up texting him. she told him that I was a blubbering mess, that she's never seen me so happy as when I talk about him, and that we needed to fix this. He told her that he was a wreck, and that he would talk to me.

I got a text from him around nine, saying, "I told myself I wouldn't be upset. But that's all I've been since you left." I said that I was so sorry, but I was scared, and this is how I deal. What he said next made me cry.

"This is entirely my fault. If I had just mustered up enough courage to tell you I love you sooner, we wouldn't be in this mess."

This was the first time he said he loved me. I lost it. I realized that I want him more than anything I've ever wanted in my life, that if there is a life without him, I don't want to know it.

He came to my job after that. We sat out front and leaned on each other, kissed each other, said how fucking scared we were. We also decided that we have no idea what to do, but we'll figure it out. I told him to not let me run, and he said he wouldn't, that he would pick me up and carry me if he had to. I asked him to come over again and stay the night, and he said he would.

He left, jumping up and down outside to show me he was making a hand heart. I giggled like a loon. He picked me up when I was done with work, and he came back to my place and sang to me while he played his guitar. We snuggled in the bed until he fell asleep, snd then I tossed and turned. I can still feel myself running, but I'm trying to fight it.

Before he left for work, I told him I loved him. He said he loved me, too, and I realized then that no matter how much I want to, I can't run from him anymore. He is everything I want.

Sorry for the sap. I know this is supposed to be about sex, but for the first time in my life, sex isn't a priority.

Holy shit, did I really just say that?