Things are settling down.

It's finally happened.

I've FINALLY found a guy that I can sleep with...and not bang.

Didn't think it was possible, but Rob and I did it. We slept in the same bed, and did not bang.

This might not count as much because we've already banged multiple times and plan on doing so for a while, buttttt it made me happy.

I'm excited to see where this thing with him will take me. I already feel better about myself: I'm working out more, eating better. He likes the way I look, and he compliments me on something after sex. Random, odd things that I don't notice: like the way I flip my hair when I'm on top, or the way I lean back on my arms and look at the ceiling after sex.

We have great, great sex, too. It used to be awkward, but we've gotten over that. He kisses me a LOT, and surprisingly, I'm okay with that. It feels good. He touches me everywhere, he pulls me into him when I cum. We found our rhythm, and it feels SO good.

Mike and I talk every other day or so now. In fact, I'm starting to think it's best if we don't have a sexual relationships. He wants things from me that aren't going to happen, and although he's my best friend in the whole world...we just...can't be what I wanted us to be. I love him- I always will- but I'm sick of fighting for us when he won't. I can't do that anymore.

I just want to spend some time working on me, without anyone in my life that's going to drag me down. I have that right now, and it's actually a lot less scary than I thought it would be.

Rob's coming over tomorrow morning. We discussed some BDSM-type things last night. He's really into choking, I found out. It's a little surprising, but not really. He's given me some hints towards his dom side, and I'm excited to see where it's going to lead. We agreed that tomorrow we're just going to play until we find our comfort zone- and I like playing. :D