Is it wrong that I get scared sometimes?
Someone tonight told me that one of the best and worst qualities about me is how open I am with my sexuality. (Because, in real life, I'm pretty much as open about this stuff as I am on the blog- granted, a lot of details are left out, but if you know me for more than 10 minutes, you know I like sex.) She said that it was, at times, scary.
This comment, unfortunately, made me think.
I'm actually really, really scared.
I'm scared of what my life's going to be like in 10 years. I'm scared that being a nymphomaniac is going to completely take over my life. I'm scared that I'll never be able to let myself fall in love again, that all I'm going to do is fuck people. I'm scared that one day, my carelessness will bite me in the ass.
Right now, I'm in a situation where I could potentially change my life. Forever. I know that sounds so melodramatic, but it's true. If I make this move, literally and figuratively, my life will be different. I'll live to satisfy another human being, versus myself. But I'll get all the sex that I could possibly ask for.
This blog doesn't going to make much sense, and I apologize for that.
I'm just scared. I'm human, and I'm allowed to be scared, right?
Someone tonight told me that one of the best and worst qualities about me is how open I am with my sexuality. (Because, in real life, I'm pretty much as open about this stuff as I am on the blog- granted, a lot of details are left out, but if you know me for more than 10 minutes, you know I like sex.) She said that it was, at times, scary.
This comment, unfortunately, made me think.
I'm actually really, really scared.
I'm scared of what my life's going to be like in 10 years. I'm scared that being a nymphomaniac is going to completely take over my life. I'm scared that I'll never be able to let myself fall in love again, that all I'm going to do is fuck people. I'm scared that one day, my carelessness will bite me in the ass.
Right now, I'm in a situation where I could potentially change my life. Forever. I know that sounds so melodramatic, but it's true. If I make this move, literally and figuratively, my life will be different. I'll live to satisfy another human being, versus myself. But I'll get all the sex that I could possibly ask for.
This blog doesn't going to make much sense, and I apologize for that.
I'm just scared. I'm human, and I'm allowed to be scared, right?
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2 comments:
Feeling scared is horribly wonderful.
To experience true confidence one must battle through the fear.
You are a powerful woman. Only you can decide whom you share yourself with. There will be someone out there for you, just make sure you're worth falling for when they approach you.
Darlin,
Fear is very natural, even if it's no fun.
Now let me tell you something you may have forgotten:
You ARE strong enough to create your own destiny. Being a Nymphomaniac does not define who you are, it's just one facet of your personality. What outweighs this is your generosity, your beauty, your intelligence, your kindness, and your strength.
Now this next move is your decision, no one else can make it for you. If you look into your heart away from how your Nymphomania affects you, how would you feel about putting yourself in this situation? Do not do something that will only satisfy a fraction of your wants/needs. You should never have to settle for anything less than you deserve.
As for falling in love again? It's a tough road, and trust me sweetie, many people are walking it.
Just remember, we at PSC are so proud of your courage in coming out like this. We are here for you through thick and thin. I am always just a message away.
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