He's back. Thank God.

I woke up at 2:45 AM today. I worked for 18 hours straight, got home at 2 pm, and immediately passed out. When I woke up at this ungodly hour, I discovered that Rob had sent me a text message asking me what I was doing later, followed by another text that simply said, "?". So, of course, I immediately texted him back. I asked if he wanted to come over, and he said, "I do."

He shows up around 3:15 (and scared me, naturally. I was listening to my iPod, and he just walked in and waved. I didn't hear him and it almost made me pee my pants), and we sat around bullshitting. We debated what would happen if we decriminalized murder and drugs, discussed my upcoming 21st Birthday. I then told him about my court dates. I have to testify in a rape trial for a co-worker. She was drugged and raped in December and showed up at my apartment, where I called the cops. They need me as a witness, and I have a week and a half time period in which they need to use me. My Birthday happens to fall smack in the middle of this week.

Rob says, "You know what would make you feel better? Raunchy sex."

So I jump on top of him. :D

We make out and he says, "Yeah, you always feel better after raunchy sex. After the raunchy sex that you and I have." He used our names, instead of "you and I", and it made me shiver.

We pulled clothes off of each other, made out some more, and then finally went back to my bedroom and proceeded to have the same amazing sex that we always have. It wasn't anything special or noteworthy- just the same mindblowing, incredibly connected sex that we always have.

When we were done, we laid next to each other, naked, and talked for a half hour. We started speaking to each other in old Victorian language- "Let's go for a stroll in the courtyard, I'll bring my parasol."; "Salutations! Now, fellate me, you tart!"

We made each other laugh, and as it was happening, I realized that this, that these stupid moments are exactly what I get up for every morning. These moments are what I thrive on.

He left shortly after. I have small scratches all over my shoulders and back. I can't even imagine what he looks like.

I think I got him back, you guys. I think this is going to become a regular thing again. It sucks that we have to keep quiet about it for fear of Joan finding out, but it's such a blessing. He is the kind of person who keeps me happy in our short times together, the kind who knows what I want without words. We have an understanding, and even if it's never vocalized, we have one of the best relationships that someone like me could ask for.




On a different note, I'd like to thank you all for your comments on my last post. I read through all of them and I cried. Really, truly cried. It felt amazing to be able to let that go and have such a wonderful response. I'd like you all to also know that I'm currently looking into finding a therapist. I've made the decision that now is the time for me to deal with this, to REALLY deal with it and work through it, and I feel it would be in my best interest to do it with some professional help.

Thank you all again. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me.