Deja vu.

About 3 hours ago, I got a phone call from my friend and co-worker. She was hysterical. She told me she was outside of my house.

When I got outside, she was curled up in a ball on the ground. She wasn't wearing pants. I picked her up and carried her into my house. Through her hysteria, she told me that she went out, had a beer, and then lost all memory except for someone touching her and then handing her stuff to her. She had blood on her legs and was disoriented.

I called the cops and her mother. She's currently in the hospital. As it stands, it looks like she was drugged and raped.

I am a rape survivor. She did not know this. Still doesn't, and may not ever.

And I am a fucking mess. I'm angry at whoever did this to her. I want to kill them, actually. Truly, genuinely murder them.

But I'm more angry with myself- going through all this with her is bringing back memories of my rape. I'm puking, crying hysterically; I'm falling apart. I feel incredibly selfish right now.

I need advice. Or help. Or something. I don't know how to deal with this.