Court update

I got the PFA.

I have a hearing in court on September 10th- Mike will be present at it. I'm scared out of my mind, and I've done nothing but cry hysterically for the past 24 hours. I can't believe I'm doing this, I really can't. It's so scary.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm happy because I know I'm safe, as are my roommate and my sister, and that the courts clearly saw that something was wrong- so this isn't me being a bitch, this is me needing protection.

On the other hand, I'm horrifically sad. I lost my best friend and lover of 2 1/2 years. I don't want to fuck up his life. I don't want to do this to him.

I told my Daddy that, and he said, "You didn't do it to him. He did it to himself." My father is a very smart man. :D



Thank you for the comments and support. I really do appreciate it. And to clear a few things up:

-Rob and I never really discussed what happened the last few weeks that we were living together. All I know is that we're back to normal now, so I just assume it's because we weren't compatible living together. Some people just don't like other people up in their space that much.

-Mike may have treated me like shit recently. He may have put me down and hurt me and managed to convince me that I'm a fat, disgusting cunt (His words, not mine). He may have made me do things I hated and manipulated me into feeling guilty about shit that I had NO BUSINESS feeling guilty for. But...he wasn't always like that. I guess none of them ever really are.

-I still enjoy sex. In fact, I'm a little bit scared by how much I'm using it as a coping mechanism. I have several guys lined up to come over for the next couple of days (some of them multiple times, like Rob)...and I plan to bang the shit out of them all.