"Was it you who spoke the words that 'things would happen, but not to me'?"

I have to say, I had 5 new comments on my last post that made me laugh hysterically. They all said something along the lines of, "WHERE ARE YOU?! COME BACK! POST MORE!".

So, to the anonymous poster(s), I apologize for being gone for so long. I am back, and I am happy to write more. I promise it won't be this long anymore.

I've gone without sex for a week now. An entire week. I can't tell you the last time that happened. It's incredibly frustrating.

I might rape a banana.

Something's going on with Rob. Since I moved in, it's been...different. It was amazing for the first two weeks or so. It was like a big sleepover, honestly. We stayed up late, watched movies, went for drives, had lots of sex, went to parties, drank beer, talked about anything and everything.

But then I let him in.

He wanted to know everything about me. He asked me to tell him everything. I didn't for a while; I've been living here for a month, and I've only known him for 3 months. But then he gave me a stack of journals to read- all his from high school and beyond. He said he'd never let anyone else read them, but he trusted me and he wanted me to know everything about him.

So I read them. I cried, I laughed, and it was a very cool experience. So I sat down and I wrote him a huge letter about my life. Everything. My childhood, school, my family, the rape, everything.

He was good about it for a day or so, but then we suddenly just...stopped. It's like he got tired of me all of a sudden. Like the mystique of me was suddenly gone and he didn't care anymore.

I don't think that's the case- I mean, I'm still here, and we still talk when we're both home, and it seems sort of okay. Maybe he's just going through something, I don't know.

But, back to the sex. I haven't had it in a week, and the last time was with Mike. I had to go to a funeral last Monday, and I decided to stay overnight with Mike, just so that I didn't have to travel all over the state in one day. He and I are doing much better than before- it's easier for us to be friends and not lovers, I think. He's confessed that he's in love with me, which is a little strange, but we're a lot closer now than we were last month.

We ended up sleeping together. Multiple times. And it was awesommmmmmme. He got dominant, and I loved it. We got drunk, and then he ended up fingering me. (Whiskey Dick is a bitch). For some reason, I was really into it, and before I know it...he's fisting me. It felt SO god damn good; I have no idea why. And he actually ended up going down on me while he was fingering me- which, let me just say, is probably my favorite thing in the ENTIRE world. It was amazing, and I was so fucking happy.

I got home, and Rob and I just...aren't the same. We see each other once a day for maybe 15 minutes. He goes to bed, and I'm up all night, doing jack shit.

I need to get laid again, and I need it, like, yesterday. I keep saying I'm going to rape Rob at some point, but I just never get the chance. Something's up with him, and I don't know what it is, so I'm not sure if I should jump his bones or not. I don't want to upset him or do something wrong.

I don't know. I've been in a great mood for the past 2 days. And it's nice outside. So I think I'm going to go run around outside and pick flowers and find an ice cream truck.

It's not sex, but it'll have to do.



P.S. To Alicia- thank you for your comment. I appreciate it, and you are more than welcome to live vicariously through me. Please, you can HAVE my sex drive and sex stories. I don't need all of it. :D

P.S.S. I promise I'll be updating more. Cross my heart. ...I will, say, though, that your comments keep me motivated. *hinthint*

<3.