It's almost easy.

I swear, I'm going to update more. It's my New Year's Resolution.


So. Apparently, I left teasers, and I never answered them.


-That radio DJ I mentioned earlier? He's baaaaack.
He totally is.
He's been one of those guys that I can call up to hang out and have a beer with, OR call up for a quick fuck.
I got drunk with him and shot pool with him about a month ago.
I came back to Mike's house, asked him to come in, and then fucked him on Mike's bed.
I felt bad about it for...32.3 seconds. Which makes me feel bad right now.
He came to see me in the little city I'm in now last week. We just sat around and talked for 2 hours.



-Is it possible to give a rim job, a hand job, AND play with a guy's balls at one time?
Definitely.
I wouldn't have even mentioned unless I either
A) Did it
or
B) Tried it and failed miserably.



-Exactly what I yelled that made the dog bark like a loon.
"OH MY GOD, IF YOU STOP, I'M GOING TO DIE."


-Why I used the phrase "making love" for the first time in my life.
I bounce back and forth between a major city, living with my friends, and a tiny town, living with my mom and sister. Mike and I usually go through some emotions when I leave, even though we know I'm coming back. We just know that it'll be a while until we see each other, and we've gotten really used to seeing each other on a daily basis.
The last time I left him was in November. I have not been to see him since.
However, the sex that night was...incredible.
It was like everything came back to us, all at once.
We kissed. We listened. We were equals, finally.
I was riding him, and for the first time EVER, we kissed and held hands while I was doing it.
We were desperate for each other, thinking it could be the last time.


Unfortunately, I'm afraid it might be.

I had a talk with him about us being "equals". I didn't like that he could bang other chicks, but I couldn't. It was unfair, and I wasn't getting any, so I was going nuts.

He gave in, pretty easily.

The weirdest thing is that I didn't feel relieved or happy when he said it was okay for me to be with other people.

I felt betrayed.

I was so used to have to fight for it. I sort of accepted it, like it was his way of saying he wanted me. And by him giving it, it felt like he was saying he didn't want me anymore.

As much as I hate to admit it, our FWB relationship goes WAY beyond what it should. It started out as just fucking, but 2 years later, we're best friends.

He still changes the subject when I talk about other guys, but...the air between us is different. It feels like when I go back, we're just going to be friends, not lovers.

The strangest part is that...it won't be the sex aspect of it that I miss the most.