Makin' love and takin' lives.

I spent a wonderful week with Mike. My New Year's was lots of fun, and I was kissed at midnight by him (2nd year in a row!).

In other news, two completely different sides came out in my sexual life.

The first was the love-y side. As hard as it is for me to admit, there are times when I love being made love to. I love a man who doesn't mind lighting candles and putting on music and kissing every inch of my body before going anywhere near my ladyparts. And for the first time ever, Mike did that for me. He put down these gorgeous black satin sheets, lit a bunch of candles, played Massive Attack, and kissed me like I've never been kissed before. We made love in the candlelight, and I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I cried for about 20 minutes when we were done.

On the other end...we went a little crazy at the adult store. My Christmas present was this crazy vibrator that's similar to the Rabbit. He gave it to me, along with this crazy bondage tape. It sticks to itself, but not skin or anything else. The next day, we went to Adult World and bought my very first ball gag.

Needless to say, the gag is my new best friend.

He left it on for about 4 hours, allowing me breaks every hour or so to smoke a cigarette or have a drink. He got VERY dominant- there was smacking, fear tactics, humiliation, everything that I've wanted. I cried several times, which I'm into, and he ripped me a new one (fortunately, not literally- that didn't come for a couple days). He asked me questions about myself and my sexuality, and scared the everliving out of me with threats and promises and hard to answer questions. He verbally assaulted me, and fucked my brains out until I shook so hard I couldn't move. And the most noise that I could make the entire time was a muffled, "Mmmmhmmnuhmmmmnaaa".

He told me that night that I'd finally grown into a woman. I accepted and acknowledged the fact that I'm into some things that are pretty sick. We established what kind of relationship we have, we worked through some of the rape issues, and we got every single one of my fantasies out in the open. I was sore, beat up, and tired the next day, but I was the happiest I've been in a while. I'm finally okay with the fact that I've got some strange likes.

Also, I had buttsecks, and I liked it. A lot. :D